» A message from Anonymous:

Do you think Eric hated his older brother? I mean we all know he was jealous of him and jealousy can easily turn into hate. I think he loved/ hated his brother at the same time. What do you think?

No, I don’t think Eric hated Kevin. Those two had a really, really solid relationship back when they were kids. I think they banded together a lot throughout the moves. I also think that Kevin looked out for Eric a lot when they were kids. Kevin was the more outgoing of the two who probably made friends a little easier than Eric did, and I think he dragged Eric along a bit in that and made sure his little brother was doing okay. Even when they were in Littleton and went to different schools, Eric cheered his brother on during matches he played. There wasn’t a lot of bad blood or detachment between the brothers the way there was between Dylan and Byron, from what we can tell from the information/evidence we have.

I think there may have been some resentment at how ‘easy’ of a time Kevin had when it came to being accepted by his peers. I also think that Kevin was ‘the good son’ back home, while Eric had to work a little harder to earn that same parental approval. Things didn’t come as naturally to shyer, quieter, rebellious Eric as they did to outgoing, outspoken, popular Kevin. I think they grew apart over the years as Eric withdrew and Kevin graduated and such, you know? But I think that Kevin may have been the one who knew Eric best in that family, and I think that Eric always loved his big brother as much as he must’ve also struggled at times with the obvious differences between them.

Posted 10 hours ago with 1 Notes - Reblog
# Anonymous 
» A message from ericharrisblog:

hahahaha you notes about Dave Cullen's book are amazing. I laughed so much. You are amazing

Thank you very much, lol! I should really get round to finishing that read someday. Be heroic and sit through the full thing, hahaha. =D

» A message from one-winged-falcon:

Why is there so little footage or audio of Dylan being angry or aggressive? Everyone knows he could be, yet so much of it seems to have been swept under the rug. Do we blame Cullen, or has this been going on since before Dave got his grubby fingers on the media representation? Why was Dylan's audio silenced in the Behind Blackjack Pizza vid? Not to sound as though I'm demonizing Dylan, but I think he was much more bloodthirsty than he's been portrayed. What stake do the media have in this?


Hmm. Well, to add to your question: why is there little footage or audio of either Dylan or Eric being angry or aggressive?  We have more footage/audio of Eric being somewhat sociable in the “Eric in Columbine” vid and pretty much nothing like that on Dylan. Wouldn’t that automatically make Eric seem nicer than Dylan by default since Dylan appears more unquantifiable?  As you pointed out, there’s that video snippet of Dylan behind Blackjack talking away, laughing and smiling uninhibitedly with the friend who is filming him and yes, the audio is cut. But there also happens to be another clip where Dylan is being interviewed for the Rebel News Network and the audio is cut (I hate that too! ;).  I also know for a fact that there is plenty of audio in the ‘Morning Ritual’ between Nate and Dylan and that audio all got sacked.  You can hear a portion of it as they’re driving into the parking lot and talking about trying to find a parking space in one Columbine documentary. Yet, the video the public is privy to has the Pulp Fiction music masking over what is actual mundane chit-chat conversations between two friends in the car.  So, I’m not sure I’m necessarily going to conclude that the audio was cut in the Black Jacks snippet simply because Dylan was showing his aggressive, nefarious Hyde-to-his-Jekyll side and that the media was trying to downplay Dylan in comparison to Eric. I tend to think the audio got cut for the opposite reasons: TPTB does not want us to get to know Dylan better and might then possibly even like his personality.  I’d wager there is other video of the two that was opted to not be made public for that very reason (BTs aside).  Also, Dylan may have been talking about people at school or work and so the audio was cut to redact and protect people.   That said, the fact that “Eric at Columbine” and “Rampart Range” vids even got publicly released with full audio is a miracle in itself because they give us a glimpse into a ‘day in a life’ of the Columbine killers and the conversational dialog between E & D within the context of friends which potentially entreats people to like them, sympathize with them, as seemingly normal, likable dudes.

As for Dylan being more ‘bloodthirsty’ of the two, it’s your hunch, your opinion, which is valid of course, but how can you really prove it? In my own opinion, they both wanted revenge and fantasized about getting back at people but they were also coming from distinctly different places. Overall, Dylan ate his anger until he was numb.  He gradually began to disengage and care a lot less. By the time 4/20 was there, his mind was on check-out. Dylan was going along for the ride.  His apathy allowed him to embrace the mindset that it was ok to ‘have fun!” liberally on his very last day of life. Nothing mattered anymore, so let it all go and be completely free from society’s morals.  Killing would be the ultimate act of retribution, taking back the power in having the last word in WRATH, and then to be free of this hellhole of a world.  Dylan barely spent time with his goodbyes in their last BT video. It was almost inconsequential. He was in a hurry to do the deed and be done.  By comparison, Eric tended to externalize his anger in more demonstratively empassioned ways but then began to think too much about the potential consequences for family and friends at the last minute. He was stalling and vacillating with the “I’m sorry..this is going to suck for my family. You guys can have my stuff” sentiments. Dylan didn’t even really think enough anymore to care about any of that. He was on board with the death train.  In that respect, he was more dangerous because the last vestige of caring was gone.  Conversely, with the actual start of NBK, Dylan spent a lot of time warming up to bloodthirsty kills (preferring to throw bombs) while Eric jumped right in with the cold blooded kills. So, given all that, I could not really prove one way or the other that Dylan was consistently more bloodthirsty than Eric.

Posted 1 week ago with 33 Notes - Reblog - Via
# picture-perfect response # dylan klebold 


The “Legacy of Columbine” video from ABC news, from October 5, 2014.  It seems that it’s always the male “Columbiners” trying to copy the attack, while the female ones…well, they do other things but don’t usually try to actually attack their schools!  And the fact that Columbine is so influential even 15 years later says a lot, I think, though I’m not quite sure what it says exactly!

Very nice report. Worth the 6-minute watch for sure. =) I’d advise everyone to take special note of Dillon Cossey’s words toward his younger self, as they mirror my sentiments toward my younger self perfectly. (From one ‘survivor’ of that lonely path of ‘Columbine’ to another, huh.. when we all say the same upon making it out of that darkness, there must be some hope and better places ahead for when you’re stuck in that zone right now.)

However hopeless you may feel, however much you may feel like there is nothing out there for you — going down the same road Eric and Dylan did is not the answer. Talk to people. Talk to me, even, when you feel nobody else is there for you. There are so many willing to help. There’s so much in store for you in your future. Please don’t waste it all away on that dark place in yourself that I, too, know so very well. =)

Posted 1 week ago with 33 Notes - Reblog - Via
# Columbine # this has been a psa 

An article about Columbine's religious reaction to the killings. 




Ignoring the face Dave Cullen wrote it, it’s good. (Incidemtally, he also mentions he is gay and was raised Catholic.)

"She left an angry, vengeful, bitter young girl, and came back brand new,” Kirsten said. McPherson says there were no signs leading up to it, which makes no sense to a lot of people, but is common among those who have undergone a conversion, McPherson said.

After the conversion, she attended youth ministry enthusiastically, but struggled with social pressures right up to her death. “We’re not saying she’s Joan of Arc,” McPherson said. “But she understood what it meant to just go home at nights saying ‘I feel left out. I don’t feel like I fit in. But guess what, I’m going back again.’ Our conversation Monday, in our youth staff meeting, was how do we get Cassie to fit in better? And the next day she’s dead.”

How do we get Cassie to fit in better

How do we get Cassie to fit in better

How do we get Cassie to fit in better

Everything about her story is incredibly disturbing, and not in the way you might expect.  What happened to her was not a good thing.  At all.

She was dead long before they shot her, and her parents liked it better that way.

You put it beautifully.

» A message from Anonymous:

Does It show on security camera when Eric and Dylan put the duffle bags underneath the tables in the cafeteria?

Nope! It’s the one thing we’re missing from the security footage, and here’s why:

11:14 AM, April 20, 1999. “A” Lunch at Columbine High School; 488 people are in the cafeteria. A janitor turned off the cafeteria surveillance cameras to rewind the tape they recorded on, missing capturing Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold leave two duffel bags on the floor beside two different tables. The bags could be seen clearly on the tape when it resumed recording 11:22 AM. Students were beginning to notice what was happening outside; some went going to the big front windows to have a look. (source: AColumbineSite)

Convenient, right? Judging by this, we have an 8-minute gap minimum in the security footage. That’d give the boys enough time to walk in, drop the bags, and walk back out. We don’t see either of them appear in the footage until they made their way downstairs from the library and attempted to detonate the bombs manually. It’s been theorised that the bags were put in the commons prior to the day of, that the boys were somehow aware of when the tape would be inactive and utilised that exact timeframe for the placement, that they had others place the bags in the commons and remained outside themselves.. all because of this tiny ‘coincidence’ that creates a small gap in the already complicated 4/20-narrative. ;) The most logical approach is that they placed the bombs themselves within that unfortunate timeframe, but 100% certainty is impossible to have!

Posted 3 weeks ago with 8 Notes - Reblog
# Anonymous 
» A message from Anonymous:

Do you think E&D would've liked Eminem?

Hm, it wasn’t exactly the music style for either of them. Dylan might’ve been a little more open to it than Eric, as he refers to Tupac’s work somewhere in his writing, but Dylan’s music taste was more instrumental than lyrical in general so it doesn’t seem like he would’ve listened to it a lot. Dylan was very beat-oriented, musically complicated, drifting off in the sounds without even hearing the words.. He created his own little world in music, from what we know of him, and Eminem wouldn’t exactly mesh with his usual.

Eric, on the other hand, has been pretty vocal about his dislike for the style: “Puff freaking daddy!!! He sucks! He can absolutely NOT rap!!! No one can, because rap is GAY.”. He also disliked rap videos: “They are all the same!! 5 stupid cheerleaders in color coordinated nylon outfits dancing around infront of a curved orblike camera with a dumbass guy walking around swingin his arms sayin ‘uh huh yeyeah werd up you know what im sayin uh huh mmmmhm yeya babey.”

Then again, Eminem has referred to Columbine before in his lyrics and is (in my opinion) quite a strong lyricist in general. (Certainly not one of those guys making those idiotic rap videos Eric professed to hate. ;)) Some of his songs are okay in my book, even though I have a strong dislike for the genre overall. =) There’s a chance that there’d be a few songs of his that even Eric wouldn’t mind so much, especially given Eric’s focus on lyrics in music. But.. well.. it’s not something I can see him confess to liking! ;)

Posted 3 weeks ago with 2 Notes - Reblog
# Anonymous 

Susan Klebold, mother of Columbine shooter Dylan Klebold, working on memoir 



can´t believe it.

Oh wow how exciting. I’m sure it will be an incredible book.

I cannot wait to read this. What a wonderful thing for her to do. =)

Posted 3 weeks ago with 81 Notes - Reblog - Via - Source
# big yay to this project! 


I wish there was a “Dylan Klebold Inside Columbine” video like Eric’s

Perhaps this ‘wall-building’ was a result of Eric’s growing feeling of being alone. Why be connected to everyone who tries to fit into a society that does not work? Why go out of your way to be friends with anyone when all they give in return are looks of confusion and perhaps even judgment? He never speaks of this loneliness with as many words as he gave to his hatred and anger. It is very clear that Eric begins both his website and his journal from a place of fueled rage. He rallies against society’s expectations, the constraints he felt were being put on him, and speaks of the human race at large with equal amounts of disdain and exasperation. His journal does show his personal, truthful thoughts most of the time. But it is also an exercise in showmanship. Eric knew exactly who his audience would be by the time he made his first entry on 4/10/98. He knew which parts of his journal should be amplified in their rage. He knew which parts would be read as most concerning. His entire journal reads as a showcase of every single dark thought that ever crossed his mind, which is then expressed in exactly the ways that has led to many believing him to be a run-of-the-mill psychopath. [x]

It is only in the last-ever journal entry where we receive a glimpse of Eric. The rant before it spoke of being left out of fun things, even though people had ways to contact him and ask him to come along. The glimpse we get of Eric is the ending note of his journal, left unsigned, that speaks of him briefly and unfavourably: “no no no dont let the weird looking Eric KID come along, ohh fucking nooo”. It is a sentence tainted with the hurt of being rejected and being secluded from things by his peers. It speaks of Eric as weird-looking yet again, but more importantly is the reference to himself as a “kid”. Eric knows that this is the way in which he is seen by virtually anyone. The vitriol in the word ‘kid’ is tangible on the page, standing out starkly against a journal from someone who fashioned himself a man unlike any other, and it is apparent that this was the term others used to describe Eric with as well. It’s not the affectionate or exasperated ‘kid’ I throw around on my own blog as an address to both boys and Eric in particular, either, but rather an expression of how little Eric meant to the direct society he found himself in. He was just the ‘kid’. The throw-away, don’t-think-twice-about-him kid with the accent from everywhere and nowhere. The kid who always started at the bottom of the ladder and never worked his way back up again. There is no strong Reb they can see with which he can fool them into thinking that he has the power in any given situation. Reb isn’t there to hold onto when the rejection is still fresh, and all the rage in the world can’t erase the pain of being on his own. There is just Eric in these moments— and Eric doesn’t like Eric very much at all. [x]

» A message from Anonymous:

I hope TJ murders you and your fucking family. You deserve it.



Hahaha, if he ever escapes prison for more than 100 yards and manages to be smart enough to know where my country is.. I’ll be waiting for his pitchfork with bated breath.

I am actually seriously disappointed that you picked motherfucking TJ to send me as a threat. You can do so much better than that! But, oh, wait, that’d actually require intelligent thought..

I’m sorry but if someone was going to murder me and my family, I’d rather it be him than someone else. Just saying.

Well, sure, getting murdered by TJ would be a better option than being the victim of some other killers. But the dude lacks finesse and style, not to mention maturity, and you’ve got to admit it’s disappointing to be faced with a mediocre death threat like him. ;)

Posted 1 month ago with 13 Notes - Reblog - Via - Source
» A message from Anonymous:

I hope TJ murders you and your fucking family. You deserve it.

Hahaha, if he ever escapes prison for more than 100 yards and manages to be smart enough to know where my country is.. I’ll be waiting for his pitchfork with bated breath.

I am actually seriously disappointed that you picked motherfucking TJ to send me as a threat. You can do so much better than that! But, oh, wait, that’d actually require intelligent thought..

Posted 1 month ago with 13 Notes - Reblog

Sometimes, you’ve got to wonder what our occasional haters think they’ll achieve by ranting at us and sending us all these asks about how we’re all psycho/crazy/delusional/garbage/future killers. Interest in true crime is an essential part of life that requires a great deal of empathy and a willingness to understand the deepest and darkest places of the human psyche. It’s not for everyone, sure, but it’s an interest that’s not stranger than an interest in history or sociology. Why do you think so many of the people from this tag and other true crime tags aspire to become psychologists/psychiatrists, lawyers and other law enforcement people, even teachers and guidance counselors? We’ve seen the abyss that people must stare down or even descend into over the course of a lifetime, and where would you be without our understanding of that place?

Most of us aren’t advocates of what Eric and Dylan did. Hell, most of us don’t even have hybristophilia. Our ages range from very young to quite mature. Some of us grow out of it over time, taken up by other interests and pursuits in life. Others stay and become like little fossils with well-rounded and educated opinions aplenty to share. I’ve seen more wisdom and kindness in this tag than I’ve seen in a great many others. The community is here for you the minute something’s up in your life that you don’t know how to handle on your own, and it’s there for you too when you just want to relax and have a laugh with people who understand a part of you that very few people comprehend. We can be theatrical, hilarious, kind, angry, sad, happy, simply emotional, defensive, squabbling, any of those things — we are, quite simply put, human beings bonding over a common interest and forming new friendships and a chain of support along the way. None of these people I see here are insensitive little monsters whose biggest wish is to shoot up a school or partake in some other heinous crime. There is nothing but respect for the innocent victims in this case (if you take a little while longer, you’ll see that the only ones we ever crack jokes about are the boys themselves) and a great many of us have sat here in tears and anger while listening to the 911-tape, reading witness statements, or viewing other material about the case. It’s impossible to not be shaken by Columbine.

And it stays with you, throughout the years, even if you aren’t actively involved in the community, because Columbine’s not over. It’s not done. It’s an active case in quite a few respects, with the biggest of them all being that school shootings are forming an epidemic as we speak and none of the current system’s works are adequate enough to halt these. We can, and must, learn from Eric and Dylan and apply our knowledge to help children today and tomorrow before they go and idolise two boys whose surviving legacy is one of destruction, desperation, and despair.

You want to come in here and judge? You want to create some poorly-written article with quotes from us that aren’t even represented correctly? You want to spend all your time in hatred and sending messed-up messages to what are often young people trying to find their feet in life? Far be it from me to stop you, but you gotta admit that it’s pretty damn laughable that you actually think we give a hoot about misinformed and misconstrued opinions that have often been spoonfed by the media and a certain person called Dave Cullen who likes to refer to himself as an ‘author’. We’ve heard it all before. Every screaming piece of hate, we’ve seen it. Every itty bitty square fragment of “I hope you all die in a fire”, yup, we’ve been there. Guess what: we’re still here. We have a right to be, and we’re not going anywhere just because some random person flounces into the tag and denounces us collectively as “would-be mass murderers”. So, save your breath. Calm yourself down. Read along, grab a seat, have at it, surprise us even with a more constructive criticism than we’re used to! — but don’t think that just because you don’t like us we’re gonna magically explode into the atmosphere. Never gonna happen. At the end of the day, your opinion of us weighs less than sunlight in comparison to the bonds we’ve formed with the case and with each other.

Posted 1 month ago with 32 Notes - Reblog
# Columbine # columbiners # this has been a psa 
» A message from Anonymous:

It's one thing to educate people and make sure something like columbine never happens again. It takes a certain amount of absolute garbage to glorify what happened. How does it feel to be a complete waste of resource?

Oh, hi there. Good morning to you as well! How’s your day going? Sounds to me like you’ve got a bee stuck up your bonnet about something — you poor thing. Did you know that taking it out on other people really isn’t the best coping strategy for that? =) It’s sort of like the externalisation Eric Harris always did, in the sense that he was feeling a lot of shit on the inside but couldn’t cope with it so he lashed out at others without even discriminating between people responsible and innocent bystanders. As far as I’m concerned, in your message, I’m the innocent bystander being made into a person responsible here. And that ain’t gonna fly.

You said glorification? I’ll give you a shred of what glorification looks like.

I’m crying forever over the loss of your two beautiful souls, Eric and Dylan. I miss you so, so much. You guys knew what was up in the world and did something about it. I admire you for that! I wish I had the courage to follow in your footsteps. You were so brave, the both of you, and I hate humanity for doing all that crap to you. I’m so sorry that the bombs failed you — wouldn’t it have been something if you guys had killed even more, taken more of that garbage heap with you? NBK was fucking perfect, though. You ripped the hell out of the system indeed. It’s nothing more than the system with all its blindfolded sheep and zombies fucking deserves. You are my heroes.

Of course, I’m being utterly sarcastic here. Not a single part of me will ever call these two heroes for taking up arms and gunning down defenseless people while laughing and cheering about it. I don’t admire them for walking into that school and doing what they did — I’d sooner resent them for it, especially because I know the flipside of the coin they were offered and it kills me that neither of them waited it out like I did and did the work toward making life better for them and people around them. My internal monologue toward these two is absolutely peppered with things like “you fucking morons what the fuck were you thinking?” and “oh great going Eric you complete asshat did you even have full brain capacity when you thought of that?” and “Dylan I swear to fucking god did you ever quit moping because all I see is woe-is-me-I-am-desolation”.. and I’m pretty damn sure that at least some of that frustration has worked its way into my blog before. I am one of the few actively warning against following in their footsteps. I’ve been honest in saying that I was like them once, and the fact that I am here today supports that life often gets better and that you shouldn’t fucking throw it away because it sucks and you wanna die right now.

But, sure, throw me onto the glorification pile by all means. Stay blind to what I’m actually saying and have been saying all along. Stay blind to my exasperation with Eric and Dylan, although I’m not quite sure how you missed that, and stay under the assumption that I am a carbon copy of those two. It’s one thing to educate people and make sure nothing like Columbine ever happens again, indeed, so why don’t you make the first move toward a better world and quit being such a judgmental hissyfit over what I do on the internet?

Posted 1 month ago with 6 Notes - Reblog
# Anonymous 

The Gifted Mind: Dylan Klebold 

I usually don’t reblog my own stuff, but well.. it’s the birthday and I don’t have new material for you yet. Since we’re all pretty stuck in the Dylan-sentiment right now, this felt appropriate to reshare. Enjoy the read. =)

Posted 1 month ago with 12 Notes - Reblog
# dylan klebold # Columbine